Looking Is Not Lust

Geplaatst op 08-02-2023

Categorie: Huis, tuin en wonen

It’s time to eliminate a ridiculous belief in the Christian community: checking out a good-looking woman is NOT A SIN.

I was listening to a sermon in church one week when the middle-aged pastor told the following anecdote (paraphrased):

“I was driving with my 80+ year old mentor to coffee one day and had to stop at a red light. As we waited, an absolutely gorgeous woman walked in front of us. I immediately averted my eyes to the dashboard until she was out of sight. When I looked up and saw her gone, I sighed in relief and said “I can’t wait until I’m older and I don’t have to deal with that [feeling] anymore.” My 80+ year old mentor chuckled and said, “Neither can I.””

I nearly puked at the absurdity of it all, but that emotion was quickly overcome by sadness when I realized how many guys feel the same way, ie that they’re sinning when they feel attraction to a beautiful woman. Then sadness gave way to righteous anger, and now I’m writing this post.

Guys, I hope I’m not the first to tell you this, but if I am, listen well: LOOKING AT AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN AND APPRECIATING HER BEAUTY IS NOT A SIN. Thinking lustful thoughts about a woman is a sin.

In Matthew 5:28 Jesus states, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Depressingly, the Church has become so feminized that attraction is being confused with lust. I’m going to quote the dictionary so we have a very clear understanding of what each means.



1. intense sexual desire or appetite.

2. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

At·trac·tive (root of the word ‘attractiveness’)


1. providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring: an attractive personality.

2.arousing interest or engaging one’s thought, consideration, etc.: an attractive idea; an attractive price.


Do you see the difference there? Looking at a woman lustfully requires that you think uncontrolled sexual thoughts about her. Looking at a beautiful woman and being attracted to her simply means you take delight in her appearance. These are two very, VERY different things.

Guys, you appreciate beauty all the time: that movie with the amazing cinematography. The building with amazing architecture.  The sunset on the beach. The view from the top of a mountain. The aesthetics of your iPad (for all you Apple cultists out there). You are simply appreciating beauty.

The same is true for looking at a beautiful woman. Studies have shown that beauty is objective. In fact, the desire to view a beautiful woman seems to be hard-wired into our brains. Even men who were born blind demonstrate the same beauty preference as sighted men.

I never had a problem with this. I saw an attractive girl, and I checked her out. There wasn’t anything sexual or dirty about it; I just enjoyed looking at beautiful women. From what I can gather, I’m not unusual either. If every time you see an attractive girl you need to mentally strip her naked and imagine having sex with her, then you have a problem.

Why, then, is there such an outcry in the Church against men looking at hot women? Answer: the Church has been completely feminized, and as such, caters to women’s need for a feeling of security.

Regardless of religious preference, what type of men get the most heat for checking out hot women? The ones who are married or in long-term relationships, of course. From what I can gather, it’s only been a recent phenomenon that single guys were discouraged from checking out beautiful girls (and I hear that mostly from pastors talking about their single days).

Women have an innate drive for security from their mate. As such, any indication that another woman could move in on her territory is immediately met with fierce opposition. Of course, yelling at her husband every time he naturally checks out a beautiful woman gets old and is wearing on the relationship. A better method for her is to convince her husband that it’s a sin to look at the other woman. That way, she doesn’t have to say a word because HE’S GOING TO HELL for looking at that smoking hot blond. Once again, the Bible is co-opted by the feminine imperative.

For anyone reading who is in a relationship, I’m not trying to give you relationship advice. My goal is merely to clear up a massive misunderstanding of a Biblical text. If you want to give your wife that sense of security, go for it. Just remember: it’s not a sin.

So guard your thoughts, but appreciate God’s beauty.